Week 119 – Salty Ballerina

Urgh… I am starting to feel like my quest for the perfect pointe shoe is nothing compared to my quest for the perfect ballet school.

My summer holidays started early this year because both my classes got cancelled.. yep.

I can forgive one of my teachers for cancelling her class. She has been having some health problems recently and had an important meeting with her doctor the day we usually have class. She offered for me to take class a day before instead, but I turned it down because I can’t afford to travel to that studio twice a week. It just isn’t worth it.

I still had my intermediate class to look forward to that week. So I was on the train there and suddenly I got a call. I am a bit weird, and have trouble answering the phone if I don’t know who it is. So I googled the number and my ballet school came up.


I listened to the voicemail and it was one of the office ladies telling me that my other class was cancelled because no one else was coming and it wasn’t worth it to hold the class for one person.

This frustrated me on many levels.

  1. I was already on my way to class and had paid for the train fare.
  2. It was the last class for the year
  3. I already paid for the class. In fact everyone who didn’t turn up had paid for the class already. I am also fairly certain the teacher was paid for the class no matter if it took place or not. So why did it matter if it was just me?
  4. I think I deserved an individual class considering there were so many public holidays on Thursdays this year and I still have to pay for class during the holidays when it doesn’t take place
  5. If I knew that the class wasn’t going to take place I would have gone to ballet class the day before like my other teacher offered

I just feel frustrated.

I kind of feel like I am wasting my money there. I have missed about 6 classes since starting there because of cancellations or public holidays. It doesn’t even include the classes I have taken off sick.

The problem is, I like the intermediate foundation class. It is the whole reason I go there. So I kind of feel like getting rid of the adult class. However, the studio isn’t that close to me so it doesn’t really make sense to go to just one class.

Is that normal that you have to pay for classes per month, even over the holidays? I feel like my mum always used to pay per term. The teacher at my old studio was really flexible with catching up on classes. She was also only closed for 3 weeks over summer.

I can see why this school doesn’t have a 10er card. It would really be worth it to have a 10er card rather than pay per month.

Another thing, why are there no courses over the summer holidays for anything?!!!

I looked into doing some non related ballet courses over summer. I looked into pilates, Zumba, even aqua sports. Every course I looked at is closed over the school holidays!! Why???!!!!

I got an email back from the woman who is in charge of renting out the dance studios I mentioned last blog post. She asked me questions about the size of the studio I would like, what dates I would be interested in.. etc etc. What I really needed to know was the type of price range I was looking at.

Am I looking at 20€ for an hour, or 50€ or more?

I emailed her with some more information, but she hasn’t replied back.

Nothing seems to be helping with my ballet slump.

How are you going to cope over the summer break?



Week 118 – My first ballet wrap skirt

I can’t believe it has taken this long, but I finally bought a ballet wrap skirt.

Besides my bullet pointe ballet skirt, I have always been a shorts wearer in class.

Despite everyone on instagram seemingly either wearing designers wrap skirts or making designer wrap skirts, I have remained an avid shorts wearer.

However, all the adult ballet students at my new studio wear black wrap skirts.

So, on my way home from work one day I noticed that the ballet shop close to me was still open. So I went in to „have a look“ and came out with a black wrap skirt.

I wore it to class on Thursday and struggled a little with putting it on. I couldn’t get it even!

However, I definitely felt more feminine in class.

Class was fine, but I am starting to miss some elements that we used to do at my old studio.

For one, I haven’t done a pique turn in months. Big jumps have also been non-existant.

Another thing that has been annoying me about class lately is that we always seem to start late.

Last week class started almost 20 minutes late. We all stood around while the teacher talked to a potential new student from the class before.

What is it with my experience of RAD classes and them always starting late?!

Anyway, during my syllabus class something kind of „funny“ happened.

We were about to practice our port de bras and our teacher asked us to get into pairs. One would start with the left, the other with right.

We have done this before. I kind of hate it because I feel bad that one of the girls has to be with me.

Anyway, most of the time the girls never seem to have a problem with it. However, this week one of the girls went up to my partner and asked if she had already danced with me before.

The girl smiled nicely and said „no, not yet.“

I got the feeling that they are rotating who dances with me…

I totally understand. I think I would have been the same at their age. But it made me feel a little self conscious nonetheless.

Anyway, moving on.

I am still trying to figure out what to do over the summer holidays.

I thought that it would be good to run through the exam every week so I don’t have to try and catch up.

Practicing barre at home is no problem, but centre work is a little more difficult.

Then I had an idea. Maybe it would be possible to rent a studio for an hour or so to practice while they are all closed!

Depending on cost, it might be possible.

So I emailed one near me to find out how to go about doing it.

That would be pretty cool.

I will let you know what ends up happening.

Hope you all had a lovely week!

Week 117? – Losing Motivation

I remember it happening to the first adult ballet blogger I ever religiously followed, Adult Beginner – It’s not pørn; it’s ballet. She just kind of slowly stopped blogging.

I checked each week, but nothing new seemed to pop up.

Well, I think I have hit the same slump.

I have thought often about this blog. It has pretty much always been on my mind. I just couldn’t seem to find the energy to write anything.

Nothing has really changed since the last time I wrote. I am still going to class and I am still practising at home.

In some more interesting news, my Gaynor’s arrived!

I sewed on the ribbons, but I haven’t managed to sew on the elastics. I forgot just how much of a pain it is to sew gaynors.

I know gaynors aren’t meant to change at all, but I have this weird feeling that they aren’t the same as my old gaynors. Maybe it is all in my head.

I haven’t practiced in them yet. I think I would like to get a new PVC floor just for them. I have some PVC flooring over the space I use for ballet practice, but it gets pretty dirty because I just leave it there all the time. I would like to try to keep my gaynors as clean as possible.

I heard a bit of news from my old studio. Looks like they are pretty far along now with their rehearsals for the next recital. It’s weird not being apart of it. A very small part of me feels like I am missing out, but a big part is pretty relieved I don’t have to worry about it.

I am starting to feel a bit anxious for the up coming summer holidays. I started looking around to see if there was any chance at all that a studio in my city might be offering classes, but it doesn’t seem so.

If someone did, I bet they would make a heap of money!

Hope you have all been well.

Until next time… whenever that may be 😛


Week 116 – No ballet, No Gaynors

It’s been a bad week for ballet over here.

Having no class for 2 weeks has really taken a toll on me.

It feels like with every class I have missed I have lost a part of my motivation.

I am still concentrating at home on my two big goals, pirouettes and pointe.

I really have no excuses. If I couldn’t make it to class because of public holidays or whatever reason, I could have taken a Kathryn Morgan at home class.

I emailed my teach about the missed classes, and asked if there was any way to take a different class to make up for it. I mean, I did pay for those classes after all. She said no problem.

Hopefully I can find a way to recover them.

I also don’t understand if I am still meant to pay for my classes every month even during the summer holidays. Thats going to be 6 weeks worth of classes!

I will have to find out.

On the Gaynor Minden front, I haven’t heard anything.

I called the shop today and the girl on the phone wasn’t sure what I was talking about. I guess I didn’t explain myself well, but it seems like she couldn’t find my name in the system.

She suggested emailing again, so i’ll do that again now.

Hope you all had a more motivating week!

Week 115 – Bad Blogger

I managed to blog almost weekly for 2 years… but I have slipped.

I have just been working so much.

It’s funny, because I was working just as much, maybe even more, when I did that 12 week challenge a year or so ago.

I guess I have just been a slacker.

To be honest, there is not much to report.

I didn’t go to class last week because my little kitty got herself hurt and I had to go with her to the vet. I was too shaken to think about going to class.

This week class isn’t happening because it is a public holiday here in Germany.

The only ballet things I have been doing is what I have been doing at home.

Every time I have had a day off, which isn’t too often, I have been doing my pirouette practice and pointe work.

Most evenings I have been doing my feet and ankle strengthening workout.

I was planning on trying out another class at the dance centre on Monday, but now I am doing a first aid course then.

It would be great if that course worked out. It is at 10:30 in the morning, goes for an hour and a half and is pretty affordable. The dance centre is meant to be pretty expensive, but I guess the class isn’t that expensive because of the time it is at.

I am hoping to try it before the dance centre closes for the summer holidays.

Still no update on my gaynors..

Hope you all had a lovely week!

Week 114 – School, Comfi, and Germany’s next top model

Part and parcel of taking class with teens is that the topic of conversation often drifts away from ballet.

As a result, I have heard way more than I wanted to about school life, preparing for confirmation, and about who the favourites are for Germany’s next top model.

I guess that is the sacrifice I have to make if I want to take class with people who are 10 years younger than me!

My teacher mentioned this week that we had now run through all the exercises for Intermediate Foundation. Well, at least all the exercises on flat.

I know the other girls in the class have pointe class as well during the week, so I am assuming the teacher might be rehearsing the pointe parts with them.

Nonetheless, I am still doing some pointe work at home. The „My Beginner Pointe“ DVD suggests doing stage 1 for a minimum of two times a week for 6 months. I just hit the 4 month mark.

I can feel myself getting a lot stronger in terms of not only strength itself, but technique. I made a lot of improvement when I realised that when I had my barre in front of the mirror I tended to look down at what my feet were doing. This threw my balance off.

My barre is still in front of the mirror, but I now make a conscious effort not to look unless necessary.

You might remember from a few weeks ago that I wanted to get new Gaynors. Well, the shop said they would order them and send me the invoice in the next few days. It’s been 6 weeks and no invoice! I email them again..but I haven’t received a reply.

I hope everything is ok with them!

I guess I need to call.

Sorry about the very very late post this week. I am meant to be working part time at my new job, but I have full time hours at the moment.

Hope you all had a lovely week!

Week 113 – Freedom through dance

I’m not sure if I mentioned it, but I started a new part time job about a month ago.

It is a type of reception job, which I have done many times before. However, this is a new experience for me because I have never done it before in Germany.

English is my first language, but my German isn’t too bad.

Starting a new job is hard anyway, but I am slowly realising that the place I am working at has a bad atmosphere. Everyone there is unhappy with their jobs and moan a lot.

To top it off though, 3 different people have mentioned that I look timid.

I don’t have very high self-esteem anyway, so this has all left me feeling a bit sad.

Contrary to my last post, I definitely don’t feel like I am making the most of life at the moment.

I definitely consider myself an introvert, and a sensitive one at that, but I feel like I have been doing a good job at my new workplace.

Anyway, what has this got to do with ballet?

Well, I have to say that I am hugely thankful that I have ballet as an escape.

Although I am not taking as many lessons as I would like, the two hours a week that I do have have really saved me.

I really don’t know what I did to escape before my obsession with ballet came to life.

I feel like the whole routine of putting on tights, a leo, and a pair of pink slippers calming.

I know that when I step into the studio we will start with pliés.

I can forget about the day, or week, and concentrate on pointing my toes or maintaining a balance.

This week was a bit of a low for me. But as they say, there are no highs without the lows.